So I’m not going to pretend that what I’m dealing with is considered “chronic pain” because, while constant, it’s more of a discomfort than pain. BUT when the pain swells, like today, and I can barely function… When I’m missing work because I can’t think past the haze of pain… When I can’t stop crying… And can’t sleep but am so deprived… Today is a day I think about the actual day in and day out chronic pain sufferers.
I’m wanting to give them a shout out because I’m ready to give up already. Less than 24 hours of this round of pain not touched by any pain killers I’ve tried so far (including hospital administered IV morphine) and I’m ready to chain myself to a hospital bed until they figure out what’s actually wrong and then fix it. My pain is awful, but it comes and goes so I’m not giving up because I’m confident it’ll end (this round at least) soon.
But days like today… Today I wish for oblivion… To never feel pain ever again.