Day 14, May 14

So I didn’t blog yesterday.  I had my pre-op appointment at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Hamilton and then got stuck in Guelph.  The pre-op appointment went well.  If by well you mean the nurse had to dig the needle around in my arm multiple times trying to find my vein while doing my bloodwork.  I now have a very ugly bruise on my inner elbow.  Other than that, I’m cleared for surgery – even with this lingering cough I have.  After my appointment I went to Sean’s house in Guelph and then freaked out because I didn’t have enough gas to get back home.  Well, I MIGHT have had enough, but I was too scared to risk it.  So I stayed over night with no shakes, without my favourite pillow and without my CPAP machine (I wasn’t expecting to have to spend the night).  I was supposed to get paid either Wednesday (today) or Friday (2 days from now) but when I called because the money wasn’t in the bank today they very rudely told me I wasn’t getting paid and to calm down because if I had gotten my time sheets in on time this wouldn’t have happened.  To which I didn’t reply anything because I was too upset.  But I called back later and talked to someone else who was so nice.  She at least explained what had happened – I haven’t been paid since April 10th.  No, really?? I didn’t notice… Anyway, my boss had forgotten to put my time sheet in one week, had been away and couldn’t put my time sheets in for one week, and the second approver was away and couldn’t put in my time sheet for the next week.  But I should have had a supplimentary pay at least for the first week that was missed but they can’t explain why that’s not there.  So I broke down crying asking what am I supposed to do?  I have no money, I can’t get home from Guelph, and I definitely can’t get to work for the rest of the week, nevermind if I could get to work I can’t pay to park.  I ended up borrowing money and got home today, with enough gas to go to work for the rest of the week.  But still, am I going to have to borrow off everyone and their neighbours before I get paid? This is ridiculous.  AND I have to call back tomorrow so they can tell me when they’re going to actually pay me.  Talk about stress.

On top of all that, I only cheated once.  I had Mr. Noodles last night because I was starving and had no shakes.  Sean has been wonderful through all this.  Especially through my tears.  He was angry for me, but not at me for being weepy.  It was what I needed.  I  love him.  He’s also being very supportive with this whole surgery thing.  We still talk about food all the time, and I love that about us.  We’re like food connoisseurs (sp?).  We also talk alot about the BBQ and gazebo and patio set we want to buy as soon as our money situation has righted itself.  We’re both looking very much forward to being able to spend time outside comfortably.  We talk about the shish ka bobs and fish and all that we’re going to BBQ that will be healthy for me.  I’m sure I could figure out a nice healthy chicken burger or something like that for when Sean wants burgers. 

We also have been talking about everything we want to do this summer.  Both of us have been starved for adult company these last few years so we have ideas coming out the wazoo’s LOL.  I want to go to the Highland Games in Fergus, and Sean says we can!  He made me a very happy girl when he said yes.  We also are looking forward to going to restaurants and spending time on patios and even just doing every day stuff like going to Wal-Mart or the grocery store.  I acknowledge that when we move in together there will be times we want to be alone but there’s something about this relationship that makes us want to do things together all the time.  I haven’t had that before.  And I really, really, like that he fell in love with me before my surgery.  So I don’t have to worry if he loves me for how I look and would he have loved me if I was still fat. 

Well, that’s it for today.  My weight is down again, but not by much.  According to yesterday’s appointment I weigh 286.6 on the very accurate doctor’s scale.  Which, compared to the last time I was officially weighed, I’ve lost 34.3 lbs.  I still think my boobs are shrinking, but am praying every day that they won’t get any smaller. 

Today’s weight: 282.6

Total weight lost since starting Optifast: 8.8 lbs

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