Day 12 – May 12, 2014

So I forgot to blog yesterday.  No matter, nothing interesting happened.  I spent Mother’s  Day with my daughter but we didn’t do anything.  Just played on our phones and shared things we found. 

Today I had a dentist appointment and a doctor’s appointment.  The dental hygenist and my doctor were both very excited for my surgery.  Both asked how I feel about it and right now I’m feeling very excited.  I know it’s going to change my life forever and I’m ready for the change.  I may have cheated a bit when Zoey was home, but I will succeed anyway.  I know I will. 

Tomorrow I have the pre-op appointment at the hospital.  It’ll be 2 hours approximately and we’ll be doing bloodwork and I don’t know what else.  Maybe I’ll be nervous tomorrow, but right now I’m not.  I also get to pick up Sean tomorrow.  I’m excited for that too because I haven’t seen him for a few days.  It’s weird how much I miss him when we’re not together and I really do look forward to July when I’ll move in with him.  We fit so well together. 

This weekend was VERY tough when it came to cheating.  I wanted to cheat every minute of every day.  I even dreamt of cheating.  It’s all purely mental still – I’m not physically hungry but I miss eating.  I can’t wait till I’m healed and can start eating again, even if it is just mushy food.  At least then I’ll feel like I’m doing something.  Eating salad and veggies was actually a bad idea.  It made me want to eat more, so I’m going to just stick to the Optifast shakes for the next week and a half.

Not much else to report except that I don’t seem to be losing as much weight as I thought I would.  I seem to hover around 5 – 11 lbs and can’t go past that.

Weight: 286.3 lbs

Total weight lost: 5.1

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